Decision-making

This week, I met with Clement, our wedding planner, and the restaurant's event planner.

Here's something I've noticed before, but it happened again at this meeting:

A question came up: "What color should the napkins be?" Immediately all heads turn to me.

It seems like I, as the bride, am supposed to have "The Dream Wedding that I've Been Thinking About Since I Was Five Years Old" somewhere in my head. When a question like this about some detail comes up, I'm supposed to sit back, close my eyes, take a deep breath, conjure up that Dream Wedding Image and say, "Okay, yes, I can almost see it, the napkins....ah yes, they are coming into focus right now. They are....orange!"

Hahahah. It doesn't work like that. I don't have a Dream Wedding Image in my head mostly because I grew up thinking that I would NEVER get married. We won't get into what that's all about because plenty of therapy sessions have already explored it.

But I will say, that when questions about colors for the wedding come up, I do have a Centering Principle inside of me that I can easily access. It is this: I've always loved the color orange. Always. I was not a fickle girl who would love purple one week and pink the next. Orange was, and continues to be, my favorite color every week.

However, I do know that Orange is not the answer to everything. Not everything looks great in orange. In fact, I just returned an orange raincoat because I tried it on and felt like an inmate.

In this case though, after the initial Turn to the Bride and See What She Says, the answer wasn't clear to any of us and we all tried different combinations of the tablecloths and napkins. But the final verdict on the napkins was: Orange.

My Sister

I have one sister who is five years older than me. Today I'm sharing two reasons why she is a great big sister.

1. She is good with names. This is great because I am not so good with names. My sister remembers all of my friends' names going all the way back to elementary school and special characteristics of each one. It's not like she was in the same class as me or just one grade above. We didn't have the same friends. When I was in the 2nd grade, she was in 7th. But still, I can ask her, "Who was that kid who _________?" And she'll say, "Oh, Adam?"

2. Another thing about my sister: She likes to guess. As in I can say "Guess who I saw yesterday?" and she'll ask me Yes or No questions until she figures it out. Usually, she can guess something pretty quickly but, I'm telling you, if she doesn't figure it out pretty fast, she can guess for a really long time and will even say, "Don't tell me the answer, I'm gonna think about it some more." She is really okay with Not Knowing. She'll go home and a week later get back to me with more guesses.

Last week, I said, "Guess what song Clement and I are dancing to for our first dance." She asked me some Yes or No questions, went home to think about it, and listened to some songs. The next day, she came back and guessed it right.

From out of ALL OF THE SONGS IN THE UNIVERSE, my sister narrowed it down to one song.

Are you wondering which song it is? Hehhehe. You'll have to guess. Or ask my sister. =D

Lemon Crop

I like lemons - I find a slice of lemon in a glass of water to be delightful. I also really like lemonade and lemon bars.

Almost five years ago, I planted a lemon tree. It was a little guy.

It didn't produce any lemons until this year.

Yesterday, I picked the first lemon off of the tree and cut it open. I smelled it and looked at it. It was perfect.

I find significance in the timing of my lemon tree: When I first planted it, I had just returned home from living in that big country of China. I was pretty beat down physically and emotionally. I didn't know what to do next in terms of work - It took a lot of effort just to leave the house. And so, I planted a lemon tree.

And now, almost five years later, this first crop of lemons coincides with the fact that...I actually leave the house and go to work four times a week! Heheheh.

Well, I do go to work, and I think that's part of the growth and "fruit" that coincides with these lemons. Five years ago, I had little idea of what I wanted to do. And now, I'm working at a job that I wanted to work at ever since high school. Back in high school, and even five years ago, I really doubted that I would have the courage to get through all of the schooling and training required to work in this field. And while my training is just beginning, I'm enjoying it. And what made work even more enjoyable this week was to have a lemon slice floating in my water bottle.

Another comment about this lemon tree - it went from bearing no fruit for four years to producing a very abundant crop. I have no idea how I will use all of these lemons.

Hello, my name is...

At church every Sunday we have the dreaded Meet-and-Greet where everyone is asked to stand up for a few (long) minutes and introduce ourselves to others sitting around us. I find it pointless really.

The other Sunday, I was sitting next to an older gentleman who was wearing a nametag that said "Chuck."

I don't wear a nametag. Neither does Clement.

During the Meet-and-Greet, I introduced myself to Chuck.

Then, Clement reached over to shake Chuck's hand.

Chuck said, "Hi, I'm Chuck."

Then, Clement, instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Clem, " and having just met Chuck, said "Hi, I'm Cluck."

Hehehehe.

Three Letters for Three Decades (Part III in the Thoughts on Turning 30 series)

30 is a big birthday. I'm saying Goodbye to my 20s and Hello to this new decade. Back in college, I never thought I'd be 30. Doesn't 30 just sound so firmly planted in adulthood?

For my 25th birthday, I wrote a Manifesto for my life. And then I read it out loud at my birthday party. I wonder what my friends thought when I said, "Okay, now I'm going to read my Manifesto." Hum.

For my 30th, of course I'm writing my Year-in-Review, but I am also writing three letters. Each letter will go to someone significant in each decade of my life - from 0-1o years old, my teen years, and my 20s.

Who will receive these letters? The specifics, dear reader, are a secret. I can tell you a couple of things though: one letter will be sent through LinkedIn, one letter will not be sent, and the last letter is going to the Executive Director of a non-profit organization. My intent in writing these letters is to let these people know how much they impacted me. The letter that is not being sent will hopefully provide some closure for myself.

2005: The Most Boring Year of My Life (Part II in the Thoughts on Turning Thirty series)

2005 followed closely on the heels of 2004. And I was grateful for a clean, brand-new year.

2004 was a year characterized by many losses for me in all shapes and forms. I cried a lot in 2004.

At the beginning of 2005, I prayed that the year would be boring.

And it was!

Maybe "boring" isn't the right word because it suggests that the year was uninteresting, and that was definitely NOT the case. 2005 was actually quite eventful- I spent a month in Thailand, I went to Hong Kong for the first time, I moved back home to the US, my sister got married, and I met my future fiance (although I didn't know it at the time).

Maybe a better way to describe 2005 was that I was on an even keel emotionally. Lots of things happened externally, but internally, I was quite level. Sure, there were highs and lows, but they were not as high or as low as what I experienced in 2004.

There were losses in 2005 as well, but the difference was that they were losses I anticipated as opposed to the sudden and unexpected losses of 2004 (for example, I knew that I was going to move back to the US, so I knew that I would eventually need to say goodbye to all of my friends in China...which, I must add, didn't make it any less sad, but I knew it was gonna happen).

2005 was still a significant year in my life that brought a lot of change. However, the lack of wrenching events gave me time and space to heal from 2004. For this, I was thankful. So maybe instead of labeling 2005 as The Most Boring Year, I should think of it more as A Year that Brought Much-needed Rest and Healing to my Heart.

A New Desk

My friend was giving this desk away, so I brought it home.

I refinished it by sanding and staining it.

Here's my new desk!

This is my second refinishing project. I find it satsifying to take a piece of furniture that others no longer want, and give it a new life and home. I think that's why I like adopting rescue cats too. =D